Friday, January 30, 2015

The Snow that Lands Like a Kiss: Thoughts on a Friday Afternoon

One Train May Hide Another
By Kenneth Koch

In a poem, one line may hide another line, 
As at a crossing, one train may hide another train.
That is, if you are waiting to cross
The tracks, wait to do it for one moment at
Least after the first train is gone. And so when you read
Wait until you have read the next line--
Then it is safe to go on reading.
In a family one sister may conceal another, 
So, when you are courting, it's best to have them all in view
Otherwise in coming to find one you may love another.
One father or one brother may hide the man,
If you are a woman, whom you have been waiting to love.
So always standing in front of something the other
As words stand in front of objects, feelings, and ideas.
One wish may hide another. And one person's reputation may hide
The reputation of another. One dog may conceal another
On a lawn, so if you escape the first one you're not necessarily safe;
One lilac may hide another and then a lot of lilacs and on the Appia Antica 
     one tomb
May hide a number of other tombs. In love, one reproach may hide 
     another,
One small complaint may hide a great one.
One injustice may hide another--one colonial may hide another,
One blaring red uniform another, and another, a whole column. One bath 
     may hide another bath
As when, after bathing, one walks out into the rain.
One idea may hide another: Life is simple
Hide Life is incredibly complex, as in the prose of Gertrude Stein
One sentence hides another and is another as well. And in the laboratory
One invention may hide another invention,
One evening may hide another, one shadow, a nest of shadows.
One dark red, or one blue, or one purple--this is a painting
By someone after Matisse. One waits at the tracks until they pass,
These hidden doubles or, sometimes, likenesses. One identical twin
May hide the other. And there may be even more in there! The 
     obstetrician
Gazes at the Valley of the Var. We used to live there, my wife and I, but
One life hid another life. And now she is gone and I am here. 
A vivacious mother hides a gawky daughter. The daughter hides
Her own vivacious daughter in turn. They are in 
A railway station and the daughter is holding a bag
Bigger than her mother's bag and successfully hides it.
In offering to pick up the daughter's bag one finds oneself confronted by 
     the mother's
And has to carry that one, too. So one hitchhiker
May deliberately hide another and one cup of coffee
Another, too, until one is over-excited. One love may hide another love or 
     the same love
As when "I love you" suddenly rings false and one discovers
The better love fingering behind, as when "I'm full of doubts" 
Hides "I'm certain about something and it is that"
And one dream may hide another as is well known, always, too. In the 
     Garden of Eden
Adam and Eve may hide the real Adam and Eve. 
Jerusalem may hide another Jerusalem.
When you come to something, stop to let it pass
So you can see what else is there. At home, no matter where, 
Internal tracks pose dangers, too: one memory
Certainly hides another, that being what memory is all about, 
The eternal reverse succession of contemplated entities. Reading 
     A Sentimental Journey look around
When you have finished, for Tristam Shandy, to see
If it is standing there, it should be, stronger
And more profound and theretofore hidden as Santa Maria Maggiore
May be hidden by similar churches inside Rome. One sidewalk
May hide another, as when you're asleep there, and 
One song hide another song; a pounding upstairs
Hide the beating of drums. One friend may hide another, you sit at the 
     foot of a tree
With one and when you get up to leave there is another
Whom you'd have preferred to talk to all along. One teacher, 
One doctor, one ecstasy, one illness, one woman, one man
May hide another. Pause to let the first one pass.
You think, Now it is safe to cross and you are hit by the next one. It can be 
     important
To have waited at least a moment to see what was already there.
_________________________________

Yesterday I walked Talik home in the dark, just the two of us on a snowy sidewalk. He admitted he was glad I was there. 

"I was worried I was gonna git snatched."

I was glad I was there, too.

Glad of his talk, glad of his child-mind doing its best to comprehend God. 

"God is always with us," I said, "and He takes care of us even when we feel alone." I told him that's why I wasn't afraid of walking back by myself in the dark.

He replied, "Maybe He won't always be there, though. Maybe He'll have to leave for a minute to get a drink." Eager, persuasive.

I assured him that God is bigger than us--He doesn't need to eat or drink. 

"You never know. He prob'ly gits tired from watchin' us all the time..."

I'm glad You don't get tired.
__________________________________

Learning with children is vast and intimate and inexpressible. There is depth in those moments, moments when one humanity touches another, when you look at them and see eyes like lit windows, shades cracked open enough for you to see inside.
_________________________________

Lines for Winter
BY MARK STRAND

Tell yourself 
as it gets cold and gray falls from the air
that you will go on
walking, hearing 
the same tune no matter where 
you find yourself--
inside the dome of dark
or under the cracking white
of the moon's gaze in a valley of snow.
Tonight as it gets cold
tell yourself 
what you know which is nothing
but the tune your bones play
as you keep going. And you will be able 
for once to lie down under the small fire
of winter stars. 
And if it happens that you cannot
go on or turn back
and you find yourself
where you will be at the end, 
tell yourself
in that final flowing of cold through your limbs
that you love where you are.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Lament

Abba, redeem!

Hard and silent underfoot,
stitched with shadows 
inexorable, immovable,
the earth groans
beneath its own weight.

There is much travail as we wait 
for our hearts of flesh, 
for tongues that know 
the words for 
father, daughter, son.

Abba, redeem! 

I hear the rocks cry out. 
The questions rise like sparks.
But hope that is seen is not hope 
and the presence of Light
is told by shadow.

In the thickest night
the blackest dark 
the darkest black
the Spirit groans. 

Abba, redeem!

Mercy, only mercy, consumes,
compassion does not fail,
and we know that it is good
to hope and quietly wait
for the salvation of the Lord.

Monday, January 12, 2015

White

Bundled up.


Snow dusted, nestled, caught, clasped.





An excerpt from River Teeth

"There comes a time, thanks to rivers, when a few beautiful old teeth are all that remain of the two-hundred-foot spires of life we call trees. There comes a river, whose current is time, that does a similar sculpting in the mind."


Echoes ricocheted from the other side of the iced-over river--children shrieking as they were pulled behind a snowmobile on sleds. If you look closely, you can see them through the gap in the trees.


The ice lives.


And further down, molecules loosen up and water springs over rocks, glad of liberation.


Serene.



A Snow Day...

...can give one time to think.

There are hard things in this world, and at times they seem to press like a yoke. The thickness of grief and the realization of how many, how very many, stumble through it with no assurance that all will be well. The knowledge of children who are growing up suffocated--by media, by materialism, by false philosophies, by the unbreathable air of godlessness. The utter void where God is supposed to be that so many try so hard to fill with self. The turning, falling, fading, atrophying away of America's Christians. The way in which God's church has abandoned truth, has forgotten why it exists. The way we have lost our first love, or perhaps never knew Him to begin with.

This morning, though, I find hope. I choose to lift up my mustard seed of faith, placing it in God's hands and asking for mountains to be thrown into the sea. I plead for restoration, I beg for redemption, and I ask to somehow know what it is to bear daily the heart of Christ.

We are broken people.

I am broken.

I am part of the problem.

I am not altogether consumed by Christ.

God in His mercy teach us humility, help us to know ourselves as dust, take us up in His hands so we can be made into something more.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Pieced Together

This is not a poem, 
nor does it pretend to be.
It just needed a shape 
other than
lines in neat, predictable rows,
more than letters
 following one another
meekly.

Today 
I colored a mandala
(inside the lines, of course)
but the colors that came to hand
were unexpected
and didn't match. 
The coloring book came with 3-D glasses
which I placed on my nose
only to find
that the colors still didn't match
(even if the lines did contain them).

Today I also
read a book to children
--just boys, actually, a gaggle of them--
eager to give up their lunch and recess,
their stint of freedom,
so I could read them into Middle Earth. 
I suppose they didn't give up their freedom after all.
Not really.
Not at all.

In addition, 
I chatted conversed on the phone 
(such a smug word, chatted)
with a friend
and talked about heavy things
heavy in my mind
heavy on my tongue
heavier after being said.
They were not about death,
at least not the death you think,
but rather about fading
about blurring 
about truths and half-truths
at war with one another.
I do not know how
to help her see through the fog
(or help her believe that she's standing in it).

Penultimately, 
I taught some young writers 
how to use transition words.
Penultimately was not one of them.

Finally,
I watched a ten-year old, 
long forgotten video 
full of Christmas trimming,
a dauntless paternal interrogator,
an exasperated maternal interrogatee, 
and a smattering of gawky teenagers
(myself among them).
We were not a family 
taken with home videos.
This one was unexpected,
it caught by surprise.
I am finding that there is
comfort as well as tears 
in the bottle even now
grasped in the hand of our Lord.